About the Aging Time Bomb
I’m Suzy Gammon AKA the Aging Time Bomb. I planned this blog with vague notions about a generation trying to do all we can to remain sharp and fit as we age, but knowing that unless we just drop dead, things are going to start falling apart. God only knows what I thought the focus was going to be.
My draft blog posts were boring, so I signed up for a community education writing class. Our assignments were often to discuss events in our past. I was afraid to look back and pick at my life’s scabs because I feared I could bleed to death without the tough crusts protecting me. I was miserable, but I stuck that sucker of a class out.
The Accident and Angst
The final assignment was to write about an accident. I got distraught and depressed because I have a horrible one from over 30 years ago. I wrote a lot of angst about not wanting to write. Saw a counselor. Tried to be more mindful since that’s about all I have going for me these days. I was raised in one dogmatic religion, then flipped to another one, and now I only know what I don’t believe. There is some honesty, but not much solace in knowing what you don’t believe.
Finally, nearly two years after “the accident” was assigned I started to write. I didn’t write about the accident and the horrible decisions that led up to it, but I did tell about one of the miserable consequences. I felt like I’d written something emotionally difficult and then I was done with that.
Aging, Really Aging
Since I was feeling so anxious about the past, I decided to write about my “now,” but my writing was superficial and lacked depth, so I started to do some research. I have a Ph.D. in Human Development and Family Studies, but I know little about aging since my professional life was devoted to young people and included co-founding a terrific non-profit to give young adult offenders the skills to never re-offend.
It has taken me a while, but I’ve come to accept that when we begin to run out of life’s strength, protection and pretense will take energy from the business of living well. As we age, peace with who we are and how we arrived here is the greatest gift we can give ourselves and those who love us.
It turns out that I’ll have to spend more time looking back.
This blog is for people who know they are aging and the people who care about them. Especially those who are growing old with heartache to gently cradle and to reconcile. As we grow old, some of us take comfort in only looking forward and others in only looking back. The graceful ones are those who are in sync with both perspectives.
A Few Facts
A guy I call Michael and I have lived near Portland Oregon since we married over 50 years ago. Our five surviving children and their children (some with four legs) live in the Pacific Northwest where we can enjoy them often. We live in a place where mountains provide a sanctuary for my soul, and I hike and climb them whenever I can.
My name has been with me for a lifetime, but other names have been changed to give the people I love some cover while I try to own my past.
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