I was a fifth-wheel in fifth grade, and I knew it. Two years earlier when I returned to Irvington Elementary from the Potter School for sick and frail kids, I felt like an outsider in my home school. But, in spite of the discomfort, I have no good or bad memories of third grade, so […]
Category: Reconciling the Past
Trying to reconcile my less than sparkling past
A Grave Tender
Earlier this week, I met a friend as we gathered for a hike. She gave me a little hug and asked, “Doing better?” I thought she was inquiring about my mobility, so I gave an update on stretching suggestions she gave me earlier. Then she asked, “How was the cemetery?” “Did I tell you about […]
Hey Sister Suzy!
A trip to a psychiatric hospital “Hey! Sister Suzy!” The muffled voice came from behind observation windows at Cedar Hills Psychiatric Hospital during a tour in 1985. Only one person paired “Sister” and “Suzy,” so I instantly knew that it was an 18-year-old who used to be in my congregation. I would have hugged Daniel […]
My Dreamspiration
I had an inspiration last week — a flat out, “no doubt about it” message that I finally heard loud and clear. It came to me in a dream that told me to act. Now! As my mother’s mind failed, she too had dreams and inspirations. Disconnected scenarios that caused her to act outside reality. […]
I Couldn’t Make This Up!
I did too much in the last four days. Overdoing it is my way of doing what I want, so giving myself a painful muscle spasm is no big deal and not the focus of this post. However, the person who I texted to bail me out is. Jeanette has received desperate texts from me […]
Fresh Air Education
I spent second-grade in the Potter School for sick and frail kids, and by the end of the year, I thought it had been good for me. Taxis took me to and from school, and the cabbies I liked were the guys who let me ride in front so that I could see out and […]
Stacking Points with In-laws
We all can use a sure-fire way to please our in-laws. As I got ready for Thanksgiving, I smiled while I polished the silver and remembered my guaranteed way to please my mother-in-law, Alice. Contrary to common stereotypes, my husband, Michael, didn’t marry a woman who is anything like dear mom. Alice’s household was always […]
Five Globs of Clay
Most of us want to avoid memory care. It’s typically not a place to enjoy enlightenment, but with help from five little globs of clay, it was the place where my mother found peace. Mom was from a generation of women who often lacked straightforward power in their lives, so they maneuvered. When reality didn’t match […]
The Casket Salesman’s Pitch
I cannot remember what the tricked-box that carried my first child to his destiny with the earth looked like, but I can sure remember picking it out. The shock that initially numbed me from the anguish of an accident didn’t help me when it came time to make difficult decisions on the mortician’s punch list […]
Angst Bunnies
Paralysis gripped me as I sat before my computer and thought about writing the specifics of any part of my past. It seemed like I was stuck in an insufferable loop of wanting to write, or at least knowing I should want to write, but still avoiding it. And then I realized I had danced […]